Saturday, 30 August 2014

Twin CAs Are A Nightmare Come True (Me Being Emotional)

In my formal get-up for the last presentation of Semester 1. Which, let me just tell you, was an absolute catastrophe that had myself and a whole bunch of other people in tears.

First of all, let me explain the story behind the title of this post.

We have had two twinned CAs so far, the first being the Advertising/The Agency one, as well as the Mass Media Research/Consumer Psychology one that just took place on Wednesday, which was also the last day of school.

And I have had at least one nightmare about each of them, some so vivid and horrifying that I would be jolted out of my sleep, lying in bed breathless and faced with a huge sense of anxiety and dread.

Sounds like I'm exaggerating, but tragically this is all very real and you my friend, are about to find out why.

I will most probably remember the two months or so of working on the ADV/TA project as a personal hell on Earth, and for a whole plethora of reasons that are highly sensitive and not safe to be discussed here on the interwebz. But if you're a friend of mine from school, chances are you'd know what's up.

The thing with ADV/TA was that while the entire process of trying to do shit was absolute torture on the mind, body and soul, I personally felt that the actual presentation went pretty well and regardless of the grade, I am immensely proud of the work that (most of) my groupmates and I had put in.

So in a way, this incredibly sucky phase of my life ended on a high note, yes?

Which brings us to the MMR/CP CA.

Hoo boy.

First of all, the duration was much, MUCH shorter compared to the ADV/TA project, which was roughly six or so weeks (but felt something like nine whole years i am not even kidding). We only spent around less than a total of 14 days working on MMR/CP.

On the surface the project didn't seem that complicated, just really boring and tedious. Nothing that could be anywhere as difficult as doing a brand analysis and coming up with an entire marketing campaign proposal like we did in ADV/TA, right? Or so we thought.

Each of our consultations went fine and to be honest, I hardly ever had to worry about this particular group project, whereas during the ADV/TA project (which I was also the leader of, yay more stress), I was constantly fretting and panicking about every imaginable aspect of the CA.

Well, I wish I could say that the first semester of Year 2 came to a wonderful close with a great final presentation. Quite the contrary. It was a massive flop, especially so on my part.

I won't go into details, but although I know that the three lecturers in the grading panel are all such lovely human beings whom I do adore and respect very much and that it was their job to act incredibly strict with the students so as to train us for the real world and whatnot (and it was probably really hard for them too), but it was such a downright horrible experience.

We received plenty of warning from people who went in and presented before us, about how tough the presentation was going to be, which I am thankful for but looking back, it probably hindered my performance too.

I've become pretty confident of my presentation skills now, but during my turn to speak I was so rattled that I was positively shaking and I felt so miserable hearing my own meek and anxious voice.

As expected, the Question & Answer portion was nothing short of brutal and I knew not to take it personally but, just...the tone, the way I was being snapped at, it just made me feel so small and so stupid standing there in that spot being grilled by the three lecturers, you know?

It was a complete and utter mess, and honestly I felt quite numb after a certain point of time.

By then I had seen so many of my dearest friends and classmates breaking down in tears, shattered by criticism and launching into frenzied outbursts of rage. I never would've imagined witnessing these sights, ever.

We've all heard horror stories from our seniors of what the MMR/CP CA was notorious for, but I never thought it'd be this bad.

My heart was seriously ramming wildly against my chest the entire time and I felt so sick to my stomach, I didn't know what to do.

When it was finally over, we exited and I felt just the tiniest tinge of relief wash over me.

I thought I'd be happier that the whole ordeal was over, but strangely I wasn't. I guess I hadn't recovered yet.

Anyway, I was busy consoling people whom I 100% believe should not have been crying or even upset because honestly they had done such a terrific job. All my groupmates, in fact.

And in a bizarre turn of events, next thing I know I was crying like a lil bitch too.

I don't know, man. I honestly don't understand how it happened.

I sure as hell felt very upset, but if I knew that I was gonna unleash the waterworks I'd have ran to the nearest toilet and sobbed it out in private and away from my entire class, as well as any person who happened to be walking past the very public area in the T19 foyer.

But at the point in time it just wasn't within my control.

Hot tears came running down my face seemingly without any warning at all, I felt so embarrassed sobbing uncontrollably in front of so many people, trying to keep it together but also wanting to let it all out coz I felt so fucking awful.

I honestly screwed this project up, and for my groupmates too, who worked so hard.

Seriously, this is hands down the worst CA in my entire duration at SP so far, not a single doubt about it.

I really really appreciate the fact that my groupmates aren't too pissed about it, but honestly I just. Eugh.

I feel. So. Shit. About this whole thing.

Oh well. I do realize that there's nothing much we can do now.

Now that I've unleashed my thoughts and all the crappy emotions I've been experiencing regarding this matter over the past few days through the form of a very lengthy rambling, I just wanna completely forget about this whole shitstorm and, as with all the deeply unpleasant events that occur in my life, never entertain the thought of it ever again.

Let us now move on to happier things, finally.

Miss Clarice ordered Domino's for the class so we could have a little pizza party to bid the first semester of Year 2 farewell and good riddance!

(and yes that's The Hazim Faiz front and center with his wicked hairdo and nice arms, i know you ladies love going gaga over him so this one's for you!)

At first I thought it'd be kinda awkward for us since she was, after all, one of the lecturers on the firing squad, but at the end of the day she is just one of the sweetest little angels on the face of this Earth and she could never, ever in my opinion, play the role of a true villain.

Very thankful indeed for such an amazing lecturer and PT :)) ❤❤

It was really thoughtful of her to get us all this yummy food, and although I'd never look a gift (or in this case, free food) horse in the mouth, I was super appreciative of the fact that she got us Domino's instead of Canadian Pizza's 2-for-1 value pizza hahahaha.

Seriously though, no offence intended at all but Canadian Pizza is just the absolute worst. It does not deserve to even be called pizza. They are just...awful. So awful.

Anyways, all the food got snapped up pretty fast so I only got to nibble on one or two slices of the Pesto Grilled Chicken & Cherry Tomato pizza which I hovered over the entire time because it is just so gosh darn delicious haha. Gotta love pesto <3

I also managed to score a single Napolitana Baked Meatball, which were huge by the way, and obviously I went for the one with the most amount of heavenly melted cheese on top. It was delicious :')

Afterwards the Cool Bae gang headed to JEM (we sure do go there a lot...) for some Baskin Robbins coz we needed a treat after the highly painful ordeal that was MMR/CP. Also it was Wednesday which means FREE SCOOP DAY at BR's so that's a double YAY!! :D

I took a photo of the giant tub of Roses & Cream flavour (on the bottom, below Love Potion #31 which is also in a delectably sweet and pretty shade of pink) to make up for the lack of visual reference during the last post I did of my Baskin Robbins adventures.

Great news...I think that this flavour will be HERE TO STAY!!

Because they actually have a new flavour of the month (Fuji Apple, wow such exotic much cool, will try it someday), but Roses & Cream is still very much available so obviously I had to get it!

Here's a very artistic photo (even if i do say so myself...) of Benn, my thug owl companion for close to a year now, and my big scoop of Roses & Cream ice cream topped off with a *FREE* smaller scoop of Mint Choc Chip! Was craving for something fresh to balance out the rich creaminess of the Rose flavour hehe.

Très delicious, you can never go wrong with chilling with friends over ice cream. Haha get it? Chilling. Because ice cream is cold hahahaha. Ok moving on.

Took a picture of this ice cream cake because it is super adorable, (i mean just look at the tiny lil scoops of different flavoured ice cream!! amazing.) and because the gingerbread man really looks like the guy I'm currently mad crushing on HaHaHaHaHaHa.

Okay I really need to stop this thing where I develop crushes on guys whom I've hardly ever interacted with in real life and am too goddamn shy to even talk to them at all.

I seriously have no game.

Hoping that all feelings of infatuation will dissipate by the time school reopens in October, because frankly I think that there is like a 0.3% chance that anything will ever happen between us.


Group selfie with my MMR/CP group (ft. a wild Nerissa), whom are all such lovely ladies and I truly had a wonderful time working with them. I also feel that through weathering this shitstorm together, I've gotten closer to those whom I didn't use to know that well previously, so I'm really grateful for that.

I like how my face looks like it's melting off coz I was jumping up and down when the photo was taken lmao.

Very cool, very swag. I like it! James White is my hero.

Oh yeah, here's a photo of my droolworthy ham and cheese omelette my mum tabao-ed for me from HAN'S Cafe on Tuesday night, pretty much the only thing that kept me from drowning in a pool of my own tears because I spent the entire night working on MMR/CP, which resulted in a splitting headache and very serious contemplations of quitting school and becoming a stripper.

Their chips are pretty decent, too. Tasty batter and they were still good to go even after sitting out for several hours and getting fairly soggy.

I freaking love fries and chips. Potatoes pretty much rule my life.

Also I happen to be shovelling spoonfuls of creamy potato gratin into my mouth as I am typing this blog post so...yeah.

All dat gooey melted cheese though...Damnnnn.

And lastly, a photo with my beloved DMC 05 and the one and only Miss Clarice :))

I am seriously so grateful for this bunch of amazing people.

I feel immensely blessed for all the truly incredible friendships that have been fostered throughout this one and a half year, the awesome experiences that I've been fortunate enough to have each day, and the beautiful memories that I'm definitely gonna treasure deeply for the rest of my life.

Hoo my god I am starting to get real emotional here...

We are now at the halfway mark of our three year journey together and I hate feeling like this but...I really don't want the last day of school to come!!

Of course I want to graduate and move on to the next stage of my life and everything, but oh my goodness. Just the mere thought of the fact that we will inevitably have to go our separate ways, leave SP forever and start carving out our own lives, in which we may or may not be able to stay friends.

:( :( :(


However, realizing the fact that this is just a small fraction of my life which will undoubtedly pass, no matter how much I'd love to remain forever young and (relatively) carefree, drives me to make the most of each day I spend in SP even more.

I seriously love my school life. My friends, my class, my course, my lecturers. Although they may not be anywhere near perfect, I honestly couldn't ask for more.

I'm definitely gonna enjoy this much needed break where I'll be spending my days mostly sleeping like a pig then waking up and doing nothing, but I'm probably still gonna miss being in school.

Until then, I'll miss you awesome guys and gals, and I shall see you all in Semester 2 :))


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