Wednesday, 22 October 2014

Charmed: Getting To Know Me

Semester 2 has officially started this week and, seeing as it's a public holiday today (Happy Deepavali~!!), I decided to seize the opportunity to write something before school gets crazily hectic and I have nary a chance to get a full REM cycle of sleep every night, much less find time to sit down and blog.

Today's post is gonna be a rather special one, in which you'll get to know me a lot better. I've been wanting to do a sort of "Facts About Me" post for a long time now, either in the form of a Youtube video or on Instagram (remember the 20 Random Facts tag that was wildly popular just a few weeks ago? that trend came and went like Speedy Gonzales), but I never actually got down to doing it.

Last Friday, however, I went on a shopping trip at J.Avenue @ JCube with my boo Nerissa and I got myself the most wonderful little treasure ever...


My very first customized charm bracelet!!!!!!! Isn't it just the prettiest little thing EVERRR??!?!!!!?!?!!!!?! *squeals*

Now, I consider myself a highly sentimental person. I often develop a strong sense of emotional connection towards various people, events, and objects that are a part of my life. I also like to place a pretty large amount of meaning behind certain things (be it intentionally or otherwise), thereby resulting in me being even more emotionally attached.

So I was in the store that day, rummaging through the charm selection and happily picking out the ones that caught my fancy, when I soon realized something.

All the charms that I'd chosen, aside from being pretty, held a special meaning to me and my life.


Heart-shaped Locket

There's so much meaning behind this gorgeous little charm. The first being...ummm, the key to my heart is difficult to find?

For those of you who don't know, I'm turning 19 in less than a month's time and I have yet to be in a relationship. No boyfriend, no first kiss. Nothing so much as even hugging or holding a guy's hand in any romantic form.

I'd be lying if I told you I haven't spend years and years desperately trying to snag a first love, but it just never happened I guess.

For a long time I thought there was something seriously wrong with me, especially when you consider that we live in a generation where kids start dating at a young age and a substantially large number of people are sexually promiscuous before even reaching adulthood.

Oh yeah, I guess you could say the locket could represent my well-kept virginity, too. lmao

Call me old-fashioned, but I do believe that one's virginity is very valuable (#alliteration, ohohohoho~~). With that being said, I am definitely not gonna be waiting until I get married to have sex because, umm. Why would I want to run the risk of being forever stuck with a mediocre dick?!

Good sex is vital in any healthy marriage, and don't you even try to deny it.

Wtf we are supposed to be talking about first loves and the key to unlocking my heart and whatnot. BACK ON TRACK PLEASE.

Ahem.

Anyway, instead of stressing out about getting another year older and still not having a boyfriend (like i did for the past decade of my life), I realized that there's really no point in delving into a relationship unless it's with someone who is really, REALLY suited to you.

Someone who can make you smile and laugh, someone who knows how to cheer you up when you're down. Someone you can tell all your secrets to. Someone who will truly accept, support, care for, and love you for who you are. Someone who finds all your flaws and imperfections just as beautiful as every other part of you.

And when that very special person finally comes along, isn't it even better that you've saved yourself just for him, and no one else?


Crown

I've always been fond of symbols pertaining to royalty, but this crown charm is also a nod to "Queen Renae", the nickname I half-jokingly had back when I was in Secondary school LOL.

Basically I was at the peak of my ah lian phase at the time (it was a very dark period of my life. i try very hard to suppress all the memories of that era deep within my twisted soul but every now and then it still creeps up and haunts me to no end), and I went around commanding my peers to address me as Queen Renae because, and I quote,

"I'm not just a princess, I'm a Queen."

Yes, if I could somehow teleport to my thirteen year old self and slap the shit out of that annoying little bitch, I definitely would.

In fact, I was so darn cocky and downright despicable that I actually had an entire hate site dedicated to me back in 2008!

Not even kidding.


And the funniest part is, I had completely no idea whatsoever that this website even existed until some time in May LAST YEAR, one fateful night when I decided to Google my full name and see what glorious results would pop up.

Imagine my surprise.

(holy shit i just realized from the screenshot that the last time i'd visited the website was on my birthday HAHAHAHAHAHA wtf was i doing omg)

Long story short, I actually do know the person behind the hate site, she's one of the many enemies I had during my years in Secondary school (aka worst four years of my life), I contacted her last year upon discovering the website but surprise, surprise, she claims that it actually wasn't her.

Even though her name is plastered all over the website.
And references were made to her primary school.
And basically everything mentioned in the website is stuff that only SHE would say.

Alrighty then.

Anyways, I hardly give a rat's ass about this whole situation now. If anything, it makes me LOL and I guess if I have an entire website dedicated to hating me, I've sort of made it in a sense?

Only concern I have would be that my future employers would probably see it when they decide to run a quick Google check on me. Not 100% if they'd still want to hire "Queen Renae" then.


The Letter 'R'

This one is pretty self-explanatory, but I guess I'll share a little anecdote about my name anyway.

If you hadn't noticed from the above screenshot, my full name is "Renae Cheng Jia Chi". Before anyone fucks up the pronunciation, the "Chi" is pronounced like the hanyu pinyin "Qi".

The name "Renae" is actually not official, as in it wasn't given to me at birth.

I moved to Australia to study after Primary 2, and my parents thought it'd be a good idea for me to adopt an English moniker because I can tell you right now, foreigners NEVER, EVER say my real name right. Even after I try to correct and teach them the proper pronunciation like twelve times.

So yeah. I wrote down a list of what I considered "pretty" English names that I wanted to have (i was like, seven years old at the time ok), and gave them to my mother.

She chose "Renae", and the rest is history :)

1. Yes it had to be spelled this way instead of the traditional "Renee", because it's actually based on this girl I chanced upon when I was a little kid. She was just a regular Australian girl, a few years older than I was. I still remember her full name, and the fact that she was drop dead gorgeous. Sigh.

Also, I thought it'd be easier for everyone to see that it's pronounced "re-NAY" and not "re-NEE". But nope. I still get all sorts of dumb shits calling me everything from "re-nee-ah" to freaking "RAY-NEE".

2. Fun fact: I discovered several years later that the name actually means "reborn" in French, which I think is eerily accurate seeing as I was having a completely miserable childhood until I got the name and my parents brought my baby sister and I to another country to start a brand new life.


Airplane

If you know me, you'd know that I love EVERYTHING about airplanes and airports like CRAZY.

I haven't been to many countries so far, but I've been immensely blessed to be able to afford the luxury of travelling since I was pretty young.

Everything about airplane rides just thrills me. The feeling of being in a plane. Looking out the window and seeing all those big fluffy clouds, as the view of civilisation below gets tinier by the second. Feeling absolutely on top of the world. The airplane food (i freaking love airplane food like crazy and if you disagree you are WRONG). The entertainment. Feeling like you're in a wondrous flying machine where time is standing still and when you touch the ground, you're miraculously transported to a whole new different part of the world.

I also love airports just as much. I don't know, man. It's just that phenomenal feeling of adventure and excitement the minute you set foot into any airport around the world. It's an insane kind of rush. Airports...they're like the gateway to any-freaking-where you could possibly want to go! And that's pretty amazing, if you ask me.

Just as well that I'm blessed enough to live in the country of The Best Airport in the whole damn world. I visit Changi Airport pretty often as it is, just to hang out and chill. If only I didn't live like one and a half hours away from it though. I would certainly go there A LOT more, just to soak up all the wonderful vibes.


Star

Because I'm a star. HAHAHAHAHAHA no just kidding.

I've always loved the star shape. It's a symbol that serves as a reminder for me to strive for excellence in all that I do. To reach for the stars. To shine and sparkle to the best of my god-given ability. Just all the good things :))

***

To top it all off, even the colours of the bracelet itself has a special meaning behind it.

I spent a good five minutes or so digging through the pile of multi-coloured bracelets before I finally found The One.

Pink, yellow, and white strings woven together to form the perfect colour scheme.

Because...

It reminds me of Baskin Robbins' Strawberry & Banana ice cream ahHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAH

Not even kidding though, that's the only reason why.

Also, it looks hella cute so yeah.


If I could somehow create my very own customized charms from scratch, there are two which would really be of things that are a HUGE part of my life.

The first one would be something like a pen, obviously to symbolise my enormous, undying passion for words. My love for writing extends past the mere ambition of wanting to be able to do it as my career, and it's been that way ever since I was little.

It sounds like the nerdiest, most boring passion one could ever have, but it really does bring me so much joy.

Sometimes I'll be in the middle of writing something - it could be anything from an essay for school, a blog post, or even a text message - and then it hits me. The fact that I love, LOVE, writing, so much, it's crazy.

I'm really lucky to have discovered my passion so early in life, and to be able to do it every single day, in so many different ways, is truly a blessing.


The other charm would simply be a music note. Yes, it's one of the most common and basic symbols out there but sadly they didn't have it at the shop.

Music is undeniably one of the biggest, most irreplaceable parts of my life. In all honesty, I would not want to live in a world where there's no music.

I love singing. It is scientifically able to boost your mood within seconds, something that I definitely am always grateful for.

I love rapping. It's powerful, poetic, and an art form on its own. It has served as an incredible outlet for all the rage and frustration within me, and has made me feel so much more confident and comfortable in my own skin.

I love dancing. The endorphins from it are just...amazing. There is nothing in the world that could ever beat that feeling of sheer euphoria, when you're drenched in sweat, heart racing and the beat of music pulsating into your ears.

Discovering K-pop, and in turn dance, pretty much turned my entire life around.

I literally never did any form of exercise, ever. But after I fell in love with dance, I managed to not only shed over eight kilograms of weight, but also gain an endless amount of confidence and happiness.

***

I guess that brings us to the end of this very lengthy post, containing loads of highly personal information about myself that you most likely don't give a shit about and will never in your life find useful. But hooray for oversharing on the internet, right? lolll

I'm gonna give myself a massive pat on the back for being able to write this entire blog entry in the span of one day. I've been wanting to write it ever since I got the bracelet and everything, but I didn't get the chance to do it before school reopened and I just knew that I'd be kicking myself for weeks on end if I wound up getting lazy and deciding not to write it after all!

Another good thing to come from this is that I learned that I can actually be kind of productive and be able to crank out full blog posts even during the school term. With that, I'm gonna try my darndest to continue blogging whenever I have the time to spare!

I really wanna blog about my Penang trip, oh my goodness. Best few days of ma life~~

Toodles for now, and hopefully I'll be back real soonnnnnn!

x

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad that you have something special that shows off what's important to you. Maybe it can be an heirloom some day. When I was at uni, I had to make a project that reflected my life, I just made a tv guide but a bracelet seems like it would have been easier. I think it's hilarious that you once had a hate site dedicated to you. It reminds me what an emotionally heightened time high school was and just how ridiculous we can be as teenagers. I believe I was insufferable when I was thirteen as well and I remember having enemies. Now I don't have enemies because I don't have time for that any more. Haters are just not in my life.
    Goodluck for this new semester.

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