Tuesday, 23 February 2016

(@macs) I'm a Slave 4 U

You know dat feel when you wanna establish some sort of aggresive disdain for all fast food chains under the pretense of leading a healthy diet and lifestyle?

Yeah, I'm done with that now lol

Processed junk dripping with oil and grease is just so yummy! As are artificial beverages which are essentially a swirl of nasty chemicals and enough sugar to render your once healthy body a nutritionally-deprived wasteland.

It's been a willy while since I'd hit up a McCafé but good golly, I needed my Himalayan tea latte fix, BAD. It's like a drug, forreal. If you've never dipped your pure and untainted taste buds into this life destroyer of a drink, I strongly advise you to stay away. I swear to god, that shit is addictive AF.

It will not only drain you of monetary funds (remember that period of time i was in my third year of polytechnic and i drank so many himalayan tea lattes i didnt have money to buy a plate of solid foods for lunch lol that was fun) , the level of contentment you get from other things in life will just never be able to match up. Also, I'm pretty sure all the resulting lipids go straight to your thighs lol #tragik


Honestly tho...when that first sip hits the back of your throat, the surge of saccharine Himalayan tea flavours quite literally arrest all of your senses. So smooth and milky, yet sweet and balanced with robust accents of floral aroma. Unfff...I've never gulped anything down with such gusto.

i be suckin on that straw so hard I almost broke that damn thing in half!

kidding lol

But seriously...iced Himalayan tea lattes...get on that shit.

I wish to inject it straight into my veins...If I had things my way, chilled and creamy Himalayan tea latte would be coursing through my entire arterial being at all times.


After I was done with the logbook submission, I left SP (goodbye my love ♡) and headed to work. During lunch, I made the decision to dine at Macca's because I wanted to try their new bread salmon burger with paella spice. Sounds fancy as balls right? Excitement was all in the air. I would soon come to realise that my decision was the ultimate worst one I've ever made in my life up til this day. Or the best. I don't know. I feel emotionally violated.


FUCK THIS BURGER.

Ok so I got the sweet potato fries, a very worthy top-up of only 50 cents (not the rapper). Considering how high quality the sticks of orange spud are. They're practically bordering on gourmet! Very tasty and wholesome, nice and crispy on the outside. Don't expect any fluffy goodness within, though. What is guaranteed, is an authentic burst of goguma flavours erupting in your bucal cavity much like Vesuvius.

Alright, on to this absolute fucker of a fish sandwich.

How, DARE you.

If y'all didn't already know, I. Love. Salmon.

Seeing as this was a fast food store and all (i refuse to call it a restaurant), I was expecting it to be equal parts Trash and Disgusting. But lemme tell you right now, when I bit into that damn thang,


Holy fuckeroni.

What...the absolutely dongle, is this moist, juicy, sickeningly delicious piece of aquatic crappé?? ? um

I was mad, y'all. Honestly. A cheap ass (well my meal cost like $8++ with the fries top-up and a cup of iced milo (stayin away from that carbonated shit coz im watching my figure~~)(HAHA lol no) but still) burger should not be allowed to taste this good. And y'all wanna class it up with deluxe rocket leaves and frisee lettuce instead of the shitty iceberg variety? Nah, fam. That's not how we play it in the junk food industry. It's called JUNK, yo. Don't be actin' all fancy with special menu items of such gastronomical brilliance, it's just not right!

And that fluffy bun studded with all sorts of nuts, seeds and oats in place of regular sesame. Jeez...

It tasted so superb I actually had to interrupt poor, sweet Joyce mid-sentence into a very personal and riveting story about her life, so that I could moan loudly and exclaim how goddamn fucking sexy the burger tasted in my mouth. That's when you know you've got to stop, when the food is messin' wit yo manners.

Oh my god did I also mention that the crispy breaded salmon patty (VERY fresh, btw) was also infused with heavenly paella spices throughout?

fuck me hard.

1 comment:

  1. We don't have a salmon burger at Australian McDonalds. I would love it if it came onto the menu. I'm a fan of fish burgers and they only have filo o fish at McDonalds.I'm glad that you had another amazing experience with food. It's the small things that make a good day.

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