Thursday, 25 February 2016

the best kind of wealth.

Backdated post from 21/02/2016. (you’d be surprised how many random shitposts i have backlogged lol)(mostly written on my phone during the commute to and from work)(the previous post about macca’s was typed out as a gmail draft during my mrt ride huehuehue)

Was scrolling through the slew of nonsensical humour and 30-second recipe vids on Facebook when I stumbled upon this short film that Danielle (damn, danielle! sorry i just had to lol. now that this meme has become time-appropriate i MUST reference it) shared. Despite being only less than 6 minutes long, it really awakened some familiar but forgotten feelings within me. It certainly gave me a lot to think about, a lot of past values to look back and reflect on.


When I was a kid, I dreamed of leading the typical fairytale life of a princess.
Chilling in a castle all day, surrounded by sparkly things.
Waited on hand and foot by butlers and maids, feasting on meals prepared by my personal cook.

As I grew older and became fascinated with the idea of love, I remember a period of my life where I was dead set on marrying rich.

Regardless of whether or not I was going to be a career mom or a housewife, I needed a husband who was either born with a silver spoon in his mouth or made it on his own to become a #baller.

I just wanted loads of money, fancy things, and an inheritance so shamelessly large I would have to spend the rest of my days worrying about what I could possibly spend it on next.

That was me roughly around the ages of 14 to 15 years old.


Fast forward half a decade on, I feel like I’ve learnt to adopt the complete opposite way of thinking.


Nothing monumental happened to shift my viewpoint, but I did get to witness a handful of instances where money brought on disgusting evils and destroyed many a relationship in the lives of people around me.

Without getting too personal about my family life, I came to realise that I was raised by certain characters who would sometimes be too shallow and materialistic for my liking.


As I grew older and realised that money doesn’t directly equate to happiness, I remember feeling hurt and devalued when both my mother and grandmother criticised me for being worthless if I weren't to succeed in seducing a rich man’s son into marrying me. (real life story, sadly.)


I remember the distinct change within me when I suddenly went from having a huge sense of meaningless pride whenever I got to own something expensive, to completely hating branded goods.

I suddenly became very thrifty, and I took pride in every last cent that I was able to save on my own. People who say they don’t love or at the very least, VALUE money are lying because without it, you wouldn’t have all the things in your life and the people you love would have to suffer too.


After crashing to my lowest points; of depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts every single day where no amount of gifts, fancy food or material objects, or a straight up wad of cash could fix and make a smile appear on my face again, all the beliefs that were ingrained within me melted away.

I realised the importance of gratitude, even when you have next to nothing.
And I already have a lot.

I have a great family, wonderful friends. I’m constantly surrounded by love.
I have a stable life and I get to live comfortably.
I’m so incredibly privileged for even being able to travel.
I have health on my side.
I’m able-bodied and equipped with boundless opportunities to pursue whatever I may want.

I honestly, cannot…even begin to think of anymore that I could want or ask for.

This is MORE than enough.
More than I’m happy for.

My life is filled to the brim with blessings.

And the biggest blessing of all, is the ability to practice genuine gratitude for even the littlest things.


Right now, I yearn for a simple life. That’s right, no branded shit and crazy indulgences every day. No baller husband, anything I want I can earn it the right way and get that shit on my own. Hell, if I loved a guy enough to marry him, best believe Imma be the one to spoil him and treat him the way he deserves lol. And my beautiful future babies!!

---

I don’t know what I’ll be like in 5, 10, and 50 years to come. I don’t know where life will take me.

But I hope to still be able to find joy in all the little things.
To value the most important things, like the health and safety of my family, friends, and all whom I care about.
And to always remember what a crucial part gratitude plays in living a life full of love and meaning.

No comments:

Post a Comment