Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Today would've been the day.

3 days before the 3rd month.

the day i made up my mind that i had had enough, i cried throughout the day.
for the first time in years, i felt so helplessly miserable that i cooped myself in bed
thinking, if i’m asleep i can’t be sad right?
i slept and i slept, waking up each time to feel worse.

finally the time came.

in one fell swoop,
thank you for showing me that you are not a guy worth crying over.

the tears switched to rage in its purest form.
and now i don’t know if it’s the most painful thing to bear or a numbing i will have to live with for months on end.

but in spite of it all,
the truth remains that you’ve given me a stupidly enormous amount of happiness over the short time that we’ve known each other.

and the role that you’ve played in my life is so significant that i’ll undoubtedly carry the image of your face and the sound of your name ringing in my ears well into my grave.

am i furious? yes. have you caused me hurt beyond repair? time and time again. do i hate you? maybe, i honestly don’t even know yet.

but just as i cannot bear to hit “delete” on all the photos i had taken of us,
the time that we’d spent together which i used to cherish so incredibly dearly,
all exist as memories now that i do not have the heart to kill.

"That promise we made to each other no longer exists.
I'm sorry I couldn't protect it."

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