Wednesday, 13 July 2016

guess who's happy as a clam again lol (it me)

Ok I don't know how sad I sounded in my 2 previous posts starting from Sunday night, and how often I included mention of melancholic shit. But these days I have truly been A Whiney Bitch irl lmao that's no joke. It's gotten annoying, frankly, but there are just times where chasing that mopey feeling of emptiness and despair actually becomes somewhat desirable, y'know?

Late last night (when i was all alone feeling massively Fucked Up, surprise! lol) I stumbled upon this tweet from one of my OG favourite Youtubers, comedian, rapper, human being in general.

I felt so strongly about this <140 character post that I wanted to somehow hold the tweet to my chest and just press that shit into my heart. Deep in the back of my mind I already know this stuff, it's logic. My heart, on the other hand, is the one in need of convincing.

To just trust the process. Let time do its thang, ma.

True enough, I woke up today shortly after noon (HOURS earlier than my routine screwed up cycle time of 5pm, might i add. so that's already a victory in itself lol no?) and as the shitty lil demons started creeping in my ear chanting "LIFE SUCKS" over and over, I was presented with the Best. News. Ever. (it's mainly to do with my education/future path in life. VERY exciting stuff but imma keep it all lowkey for now coz nothing's set in stone yet and i aint tryna jinx anything lol :X)

Like, you don't even have time to entertain emo thoughts when real life is unfolding at such amazing magnitudes.

A bunch of other smaller joys starter piling on soon after. And I've only been awake for less than an hour so far! lololol

Life is so good, man.

Everyone should allow themselves to properly feel sadness, hurt, anger, disappointment etc. All those unsavoury emotions that are part and parcel of life. Not every day is gonna be filled with sunshines, rainbows and singing ponies with glitter in their hair.

...But next time I choose to focus on the insignificant bits of my life that are lacking, completely taking for granted the countless blessings I have to be grateful for? Just slap me in the face. Please, I beg of you*.

*definitely not "you" as in a possible stranger reading this from the internet whom i don't know and have never met irl lol can u imagine how scary and violent that would be? striking me across the face when u see me on the street like "oh, i'm just here delivering that slap u wanted so badly. yer welks"    ..awkz

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