Sunday, 13 November 2016

Sad Days, But You Can Still Find That Bit Of Happiness Within. (October's Final Weekend Part 2/2)

Continuation of this post.

Other than the length concern, I didn't want to lump this badddd and saddddddd event with the happy ones of the previous post teehee.


The start of that final Oct'16 weekend was absolutely brilliant and created memories I would very much like to have cemented in my mind forever :)

Pity that it ended off on Sunday with the worst, most scarring experience I possibly could've had thrown at me with no warning whatsoever. Leading up to emotional breakdowns and crying fits aplenty well into the start of the week? Culminating in the ultimate regression of my psychological state since a solid three years or so. Fucking ridiculous lol

*just to avoid any potential confusion, the person i spent Sunday with is not the same as Fri and Sat!! that would be like comparing a demon with an angel, respectively.

Although of course, the devil himself was cloaked in the most pristine of guises. How else would I have been senseless enough to pine for him since the first time I laid eyes on him? And over and OVER again throughout these months as he disappeared from my life and popped up again as and when he liked. Oh well.


It's fine. I shall block out the horrific details and events of Sunday. And remember only the good things.

A lovely brunch at Lola's. Venturing to beautiful locations like Marina Bayfront, Marina Barrage and Gardens By The Bay. I caught a shit ton of Pokemon, too! Lol. The night even ended off with a fat cat spotting at the Gardens, which came up to rub itself against me all affectionately.

Our view.

Our meal.

Night time is when it all really started going to shit.

Couldn't even trust myself to keep it together. I was a fucking mess. Yet I was by your side the entire time. Trying not to choke on my own emotions. Taking in all the sights while knowing with zero uncertainty that I was going to end the night locking myself in the bedroom room, alone and falling apart.

Was too bad that all that walking around led to me losing my Gudetama ez-link card at some point :(

Prolly a sign from the universe then that some things, and people, are meant to leave your life forever (shoutout to the wisdom of Jake the dog). And that I should let go and never look back.

No matter how big or small I foolishly perceived their impact on my life to be.


Hands down biggest takeaway from the night: 
at least i walked away from it all 
gaining the knowledge that my morals are intact
no matter how strong the temptation might have been. 

at least i wasn't the one who verged on jeopardizing a 2-year relationship. 
at least i didn't keep the fact that i'm attached 
undisclosed 
so that i could carry on enjoying the affection of another 
and leave that person with nothing 
at the end of each night when i go back to my own lover's arms. 
at least i wasn't the one who found it 100% okay to toy with someone 
for the sake of my own selfish needs.

at least i can – albeit on a pillow soaked with tears – fall asleep at night with a clear conscience.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

No comments:

Post a Comment