Wednesday, 8 February 2017

DICK TOO BOMB.

Purely coincidental, I did not plan for the dates to line up so perfectly. In fact, it was more of a spontaneous occurrence that triggered my realization only after I'd sat down and properly delved into the history of my life's happenings, connecting the dots.

Exactly one year ago today, I lost my virginity.

And now, 366 days plus a spectacular assortment of penises (or as i sometimes like to call, "penii". pronounced pee-naí) later? I've been elevated to a whole new realm.

Ladies and gentlemen...It is with great joy and boundless gratitude in my hoe heart that I announce that I have finally been with a man who is tall, strong, and SKILLED enough to pick me up and really give it to me...long dick style, like the following diagram shows:


(literally no one asked, but) I was both bounced up and down on his...yknow, as well as held in the air as he thrusted relentlessly to the absolute glee of my g-spot.

Two glorious positions I had NEVER even come close to (s)experiencing, until today of course.

*don't get me wrong, i'm glad that i found someone who's capable of picking me up to fuck me but i am by no means throwing shade at any of the past dudes i've smashed (i know some of 'em read my blog...a lil bit weird actually lol but hi. waddup) who weren't able to do so. i'm only 163 cm tall and the height of my partners so far have ranged from 168 cm to 184 cm (i sound like some psycho rn who charts the vital statistics of random men she sleeps with lol OH WAIT! i do do that.) but i am of significantly greater body mass than the average chick, coz i used to be overweight blah blah extra flab here and there that i honestly can't be arsed to get rid of coz it makes for some gr8 cushion for the pushin' lmfao. 

not once have i ever expected a guy to carry me during coitus, or walked out of a banging session (more like limp out, coz the Dick Too Bomb™ that i can't walk straight afterwards, amirite? *insert Side To Side cover*) disappointed that he wasn't able to.

even when it was happening today my mind was like !!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT! THE! FUCK! iaminheavenrightnowwhateverdididotodeservethisnextlevelpoundingohmygodyesssssssssTAKEMETHERE

Few words exist in the English language that are able to adequately express just how I feel right now...which is #blessed.

lol

Hope y'all had a fun and eventful day, too!! bless my stars tbh hahahah

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