Monday, 13 February 2017

Guangzhou EATZ.

Hi. Y'all are a bunch of Filthy McNasties™, you know that right?

For half a decade I've been slogging it out trying to gain this blog a readership of more than 4 unique visitors per day. But nobody gave a ding dong doodle damn :'(

I write one post about taking a big ol' schlong into my verguba, though. And y'all can't freaking get enough!!!! NOTTY BOIS AND GOYLES.

jks haha. I truly appreciate the flood of positive feedback about my writing skillz, along with how happy y'all are on my behalf that my lady bits are gettin Well Fed lol it feels gr8 to share the joy!!


Can't promise that I'm now gonna transform PuddingFancy into an exclusively peena-vageena publication kind of dealio, but you should know by now. This blog is a mish-mash of thoughts and overenthusiastic ramblings spanning extensive scopes as messy as my life itself.

So check back regularly for random shit like unduly passionate music recommendations, super extra thousand-word long reviews on Mc-fucking-Donald's of all places, and graphic imaginings of what it'd be like if I were to have gone through with my numerous suicide attempts (jfc, shit gets heavy reeeal fast lol. somemore no prior warning 的!!!).

I also like to pretend that I'm your "Internet Big Sister" (fcking cringey ass shit lol /BARFS), and unleash a whole bunch of cliched Tumblr-esque motivational quotes to help you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Sometimes in a bid to just make myself feel better, too.

But for now, I wanna talk about some China food I ate during Dec'16 :))

 Leggo, my eggo.

//


At a Halal noodle and dim sum spot, I ordered a bowl of 炸酱面 (zha jiang mian, bean paste noodles) and it came with an exciting plethora of appetizers.

Although it looks really dry and funky af, the beef slices were my fave! So gray and weird looking though...it really was a gamble to ingest them hahaha. It's k00l, no subsequent lao sai issues to report lol


My hot n00ds~~

Really tasty and I thoroughly enjoyed it for the first 3 to 5 heaping mouthfuls or so. Then it got way too fucking oily...I could practically feel the grease welling up in my stomach. My lips were absolutely drenched in oil such that I had to dab (ha ha Dab) them with serviettes after every bite, it was so icky.

Handmade noodles were top-notch, tho! Probably could've done with more cucumber shreds to soak up that grease. I love shredded veg in my noodle dishes anyway. So fresh and adds a nice crunch :)


Big ol' plate of dumplings. Because it was a Halal establishment, they used lamb instead of minced pork. I'm chuffed as all hell that Muslim peeps get to enjoy Chinese dumplings now, hooray! :D


This was pretty darn special. Not sure which specific vicinity of China this dish is a cuisine of but still, I've never seen anything like it in Singapore I'll tell you that much!

It was a mix of scallops and oysters – both still in their shells – topped with vermicelli noodles. Or tung hoon (glass noodles), I can't tell! But I love 'em all the same :)

The noodles were tossed in a tasty mix of fragrant oils, chopped up chilli and plenty of garlic. Almost like an Asian version of aglio olio, if you will!


Teensy weensy plate of grilled tofu (it was of the firm bean curd variety, yum!) that tasted ever so slightly of charred caramelized goodness mmmmmmm fuk me up fam. The accompanying sauce was a little too sweet, too watery and too artificially bright red for me tho! pity.

Some chunky chilli sauce to go with it would've been BOMBBB.


My mum wanted to try these vegetarian dumplings that were 100% plant-based, from skin to filling. No meat whatsoever.

Apart from looking like the cute alien mochi from Disneyland,

(Source)  So adorable and absolutely ICONIC.


The veggie dumplings were,, HORRIFIC.

NOPE. JUST NOPE.

Bring me back my mEAT, and plenty of it!!!!! In my mouth, where it belongs lololol

;)

may the good lord help me xoxo

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