Sunday, 26 February 2017

Taiwanese beauty products out here bout to enhance all y'all faces and Life in general.

[Disclaimer: This post is a sponsored collaboration with BeautyKeeper, courtesy of Sample Store.]

Everybody from Buzzfeed to Night Owl Cinematics are raving about whether Korean (wit da pale ass complexions sorry, i meant Fair Skin xo) or American beauty products (contour your whole ASS right off, tbh) are better. But......y’all. Where’s the love for all dem TAIWANESE products??

Just as much as I can’t stand K-dramas for their setting of unrealistic love standards as well as the fact that it’s always the same old cringey ass sob story, I’m not one to sit down and willingly subject myself to Taiwanese idol dramas (no shade to those who love ‘em. whateva floats ya boat, i say!)

I am, however, a huge slut for big fan of Mandopop music.

5566, S.H.E, Jay Chou, Jolin Tsai, Cyndi Wang, Fahrenheit. The list goes on.

My cousin introduced them to me back in the early 2000s when he was in his teenage years and I was just a lil whiney ass baby (still am now, tbh. lol), bless his soul. I’m not proactive enough at the moment to go seek out new hits, so I’m mostly looping old shit on Spotify under various #N0STALGIA playlists teehee

Sidenote: I very recently discovered G.E.M (thanks Joyce! ☺) and i’m so head over heels in love with that girl, big voice and even bigger attitude. Slay me, kween.

This is random but i was scrolling thru the (very wholesome, very loving) comments under G.E.M’s music videos on youtube and the chinese equivalent of “KWEEN” is “女神”??? Fucking amazing omg. #themoreyouknow

I’m so bloody thankful for my bilingualism lol, even tho it’s at like an elementary level haha BUT STILL. Being able to appreciate the art of multiple languages is some GOOD SHIET, right dere. ✔

Oh yeah I also love Taiwanese food. Like, have you been to their night markets??? I have not. lol BUT THERE’S TW SNACK KIOSKS IN SG LAH OK. Thank god. Luv me some Taiwan-style bubble tea and XXL fried chicken UNFFF. Shoutout to 我爱台妹 and Shihlin, y’all da real MVPs :’) Haven’t tried Hot-Star yet but, dammit. I Shall.


Alrighty I went off on a riDICKulously long tangent there lol but TODAY...we are gathered here, to marvel at some of the awe-inspiring benefits that Taiwanese beauty products have to offer.

Here’s a nice lil package of beauty products sent from BeautyKeeper (美麗掌櫃)(美丽掌柜, for plebs like myself who can only read simplified Chinese at best lol), a dedicated online store that aims to bring all the goodies of the Taiwan beauty and cosmetic scene, to those in Southeast Asia!

1. 'INNA Organic' facial mask
Infused wit da goodness of the delicate but almighty rose geranium!
I’m lazy af but I can’t deny how good face masks are for saving my parched skin in a jiffy, even if I only get around to using them like once every few months or so. Have been using My Beauty Diary’s sheet masks since I was a broke ass bitch in secondary school, and for now my faves are actually the ones from Innisfree so. Can’t wait to try this ~*soothing*~ one!

2. 'MD/AA Jiao' “pulsed mask” foaming case cleanser
I’m so sorry lol the moment I saw the name my mind only had one thought and it was.......lanjiao.
HAHAHAH fuck my life, my maturity level is lower than that of a primary 4 school boy’s. Liddat who wanna collab with me for future advertorials sia lmaooo
My apologise (ya i know it’s spelled Apologies THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A JOKE. FUCK.), I am sure this product is amazing and I simply cannot wait to have it...pulse on my face lol HAH.


3. 'PSK' intensive hydra cream
Now, idk about y’all but I am beyond STOKED to see just how /intense/ this cream bout to get on mah dry ass, problematic ass skin huehuehue (my face skin btw, not LITERALLY my "ass skin"). And it’s not even spelled “hydration” cream, coz you can never truly be swaggy until you cease to find it a necessity to spell words to their completion. It’s “hydra” cream.

Hail hydra.

4. 'Ethel Cosmeceutical' purified collagen powder
Why stop at slathering cosmetics on your external dermis, when you can INGEST beauty products to finally make yo nasty ass insides look pretty?? I’m kidding lol. About the latter portion, anyway.

Portioned into 7 individual packets to set you off on the most collagen-fuelled week of your life, you're supposed to dissolve and drink the powder in 200ml of water, warm or cold. If you’re sick and tired (waddup Anastacia, kween of my 2004 playlists back when i was studying in Perth) of collagen creams taking their own damned, sweet time to work da magic on plumping up your skin, just chug this collagen right down your gullet, ay?

Oh yeah the BeautyKeeper package also came with this nifty little Beauty Magazine:

Super duper informative, and makes for gr8 reading material when you’re chillin in bed with your lovely facial sheet mask on, or sittin on tha toilet makin A Poo™, ja feel?


Having to go oot & aboot to physically scavenge for the beauty products you already know of and yearn for can be a pain in the buttocks. You don’t wanna end up getting distracted along the way, what with the plethora of other available products on offer!!

Strutting into a pharmacy wanting to pick up like, three items and ending up with a receipt longer than whatever shitty distance you managed to get for Standing Broad Jump ( i’m just projecting my overly specific, personal failures onto you lmao) is a big NO-NO!!

Taiwanese host and comedian, Nono.

Hahahaha y’all like that? Y’all get that reference? ok

Feel like this occasion calls for the following:

Pic of that one time I actually met and got a picture with Nono when he came to Singapore lmao. I was like, frickin six years old or some shit I reckon. My haircut was so #goals, right??? :-D

Anywhozzles. Get all these kool n sweg Taiwanese products from da comfort of your very own home!! Or, wherever the hell it is that you surf the web and do online shopping. I ain’t one to judge lol. (gotDAMN, i love me some honey.)

Everything you purchase is under a 30-day refund policy so you can buy to your heart’s content with No Ragrets.

There’s also 24-hour (!!) support staff on standby should you require any assistance at all. And if you know a thing or two about Taiwanese folk, you know that they be friendly as FOOK so yeah. Trust that you’ll be in good hands huehuehue <3

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