Sunday, 30 April 2017

my Famous Friends™ and i!!!1 (such influencer much w0w)

Legit wanted to write just a short and sweet Facebook status when I saw this cute lil memory of 2016. But along with the lovely nostalgia of good food and hearty laughter I shared with Joyce and Thomas, came waves ringing in my mind of the nasty shit that so many people have had to say about our friendship. Crashing so hard and so rapidly that it swirled into a tsunami and had me pounding away at my keyboard with flashbacks of everything that I've had to deal with this past year or so.

Why did I have to question myself and my intentions of sitting next to someone at lunch I could actually have casual conversation with, posting a selfie of me with them on social media, or simply asking them out to kick it with me in a public setting where they'd likely be recognized by adoring fans requesting to take a picture with them (not including me, though! i'm just some random nobody lucky enough to get to hang out with them ☺) so they could show off to all their followers about this celebrity sighting?

Why was I the one who had to be burdened by the callous words of everyone from close friends to complete strangers and anonymous cowards sending me hate online, to the point where I couldn't fall asleep at night?

As ugly as they may sound, I'm going to share some of these accusations with you right now. And get them the fuck out of my system once and for all. Purge my soul of these ridiculous damnations so that I may start on a clean slate as clear and pristine as I know my conscience to be.

"finally a happy post"

this was one of the first nights i had post-Nazmi where i could flash a genuine smile and not feel hopeless and empty inside. and it was all coz of you guys.

the lunch sessions that gave me something to look forward to at work instead of wanting to quit my internship ahead of time and just Give Up on life, staying home to rot. the post-work dinners so i wouldn't head home immediately from the office and sit in the dark crying for hours on end. the nonsense y'all sent me in the group chat so i could work up the slightest chuckle instead of aching to my core each time i picked up my phone and realized i would never again receive a message from the guy to whom i entrusted my heart only to get it thrown right back at my face in smithereens.

it's cliche to talk about how time flies, but it simply feels strange that it's been 365 days since this casual hangout session at Brothers Ramen. how many storms have we helped one another to weather since that evening? even if it means passing only a single raggedy umbrella of emotional support back and forth on loop, sometimes putting our own problems on hold just to help the other(s) out.

how unlikely was the formation of our ties. this strong and this quickly, too.

one was my superior at my very first "proper job". you interviewed me, you hired me. you were authority, and i was supposed to report to you. gotta respect workplace relationship boundaries. gotta keep it professional. i'm just a kid anyway, and you're a proper grownup. we can't talk too much with each other if it's not about work. we can't hang out outside of office hours. the other interns will give me dirty looks and wonder why this bitch is sucking up to the supervisor. no wonder she performed well at her internship, just look how close she is with the deputy editor. she must be faking and flaunting this whole friendship for online attention. joycestarbean has well over 10,000 followers, you know?

the other was pretty much my enemy. you live about 50 steps away from my house, we've been in the same course in the same school for 3 years. the amount of times we've passed each other on campus and not bothered to acknowledge each other's presence? forget it, if there were any semblance of a friendship to be forged, it would've happened by now. us two will probably never so much as speak to each other. i thought you were a typical fuccboi, disgusting. you thought i was some airheaded bitch who posted attention-seeking shit on instagram to feed my self-esteem issues.

ok, we got over that. it's chill now. but nope. apparently i'm only friends with you coz you're skyrocketing as a local vlogger and i wanna latch onto your fame. and of course, OF COURSE, we fucked. i mean, there's no other explanation for us to be this close, right? have you seen the kind of stuff i post online? i'm such a slut.

these two not only stuck around each and every time i was completely broken and torn apart shred by shred, they helped build me back up from scratch. and they sure as hell don't keep score of how often i still falter, how long it takes before i'm back up on my feet, nor do they make me feel like without them i would be weak. for these reasons...god forbid that i ever, /EVER/ in this entire lifetime, take the bond of BMC for granted.


You, probably: " triggered you sia??"

me: Facebook Memories©, tbh

and the tragic thing is it ain't even the first time LOL (click here for emo v-day version)(ohhhhh so sad sia, no boyfriend on valentiMe's day wow!!!!!1 ppl are starving bitch  GET OVER IT)

Something tells me I should just stay away from FB altogether. Coz it's either I get triggered by some sad shit to write 7,000 words for no goddamn reason, or it forces me to come to the realization that:

tragic :')

Thursday, 20 April 2017

To Artbox or Not To Artbox.

Artbox Singapore: Bringing a Lil Bit of Bangkok to the (Marina) Bay
(not really)(not at all, actually)

Go if: You have extreme FOMO and die-die must go there just to snap some OOTDs and post it on the 'Gram with the Artbox location tag

Do not go if: You are capable of rational thinking

Here's what you can expect! :D

Standing still in a sea of sweating strangers. Yeahhh that's about it.

I shit you not, tho. The crowd does NOT budge. Wanna sneak a peek at a particular shop display that's caught your fancy? Too bad. You ain't getting anywhere near enough to spot the prices ($8 for a bottle of colourful sugar water, probably).

Yearning for some cheap Thai street munchies to satiate your grumbling tummy and hopefully quell the rage within you after a slew of aunties elbow your ribs and *TSK* at your annoying millennial self for simply existing? Good luck tryna find the queue to actually join lol

Why did people bring elderly and lil babies in prams, tbh. I just......Seriously?? Every one of 'em I happened to come across looked so miserable being squashed by throngs of energetic youths :( THERE IS NOTHING FOR THEM THAT WILL BRING THEM JOY!!

Prepare a Marina Barrage picnic for them or something. Or go to the Flower Dome at Gardens By The Bay, right around the corner! Got aircon somemore.

It was a fucking battlefield on the Artbox grounds. I don't think senior citizens, of all people, are after a humid afternoon of bopping to Coldplay ft. The Chainsmokers blasting right into their ear canals while taking Snapchat vids of themselves "smoking" the Dragon's Breath dessert??

Highlight of the day: This magnificent grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with diced bacon cubes. Think it was 5 bucks or something. So tasty I almost shat on the grass fields, right there and then.

I also bought a bottle of authentic™ Thai green milk tea, shit was so robust both in terms of flavour and aroma. Suuuper good. Tea game str0nk to the point where I couldn't open my damn eyes fully, as you can see lol

The stall was run by actual Thai people, downright lovely, as you would expect. Incredibly warm and friendly service. Hope they were treated well by us impatient Singaporean brats huehuehue

Main takeaway of this whole post: Don't do it, brah. Just do not.

Saturday, 15 April 2017

i've got a massive HARD-on for chye seng huat HARDware, and i don't care who sees.

Is there a better title that I could've thought of for this completely non-boner-related post? Probably.
Does my weary brain want to continue searching the depths of my cranium for said title at 4 in the morning?
Hell to the fuk no lol

This cafe is next-level as all hell and I highly recommend it with all my heart, soul, SPLEEN. Everything.

Salmon rice bowl, breakfast platter. Dem black things are mushrooms and I have no idea in hell how they sautéed it, or what marinade they used, but I have NEVER tasted such amazing fungal matter in my whole damn life.

Sticky fig pudding. Very dense, very sweet. Packs an intense flavour punch! Thumbs up for the delicious sticky sauce alone, tbh.

Roast pork belly tater tots. Came with a sinfully delicious mess of melted cheese, spicy jalapeños (MY LOVE), salsa, roast pork chunks (too tough and chewy, in my opinion...but they still provided a wonderful savoury kick and YAAAS MEAT all day, err day), and a sunny side up egg fried so gosh darn thinly, it's pretty much just a shaved SLIVER.

Poke the yolk open and let it ooze all over them cheesy taters...god damn, I love artery-choking fried food lol

Y'all know I'm a $5-factory-outlet-shirt-wearing, 菜贩-eating, walking-from-one-MRT-station-another-to-save-money-on-my-EZ-link card type o' bitch. So don't go thinking that I cafe-hop all the damn time like a mansion-dwelling heiress whose wealthy parents supply with such an abundance of hundred dollar notes that her branded purse can barely contain it all.

Their outdoor seating area. Good shiet, good shiet right dere ✔✔

Chye Seng Huat offers an all-encompassing experience (food, service, physical setting, ambience) that is worth saving up for (aiyo wtf why this sentence sound so press release-y lol fuck mi ded)! Treat yo self!! If I dined at such extravagant places with a frequency that were anywhere near regular, I'd be declaring bankruptcy by next Tuesday.

Once in a willy-while, tho? These are the occasions that give me a reason to LIVE lol. Not even joking, actually. Like, my life may be crumbling to absolute pieces in every single area imaginable and I may be one emotional breakdown away from total insanity but lemme just postpone my Clocking Out Of This World til after I get to devour a good ass brunch one last time, ja feel??


/cue nervous laughter as i attempt to shrug off questions from concerned friends who see the suicidal shit i post online then ask irl whether i'm Doing Okay xo/

relatable af, tbh.

Monday, 10 April 2017

lord, i Tried but i can't Say "No"

Yeah. Ain't nothing i can do to save my soul.

You CAN'T save me.
You call it Love, but still
You hate me?

You're the pain
and the medicine.
One taste...
and I'm numb again.

Thursday, 6 April 2017

sad memes coz lao niang sad af

Been too damn long since I did one of these meme compilations, and I have way too much shit saved up in my folders. I'm talking like a ratio of 1:74 for actual uni files versus DUMB ASS MEMES. Found myself having to delete lecture notes from this currently ongoing semester just to free up space on my hard drive for more memes about fucking procrastination and Depression. gg, well played.

#relatable. in a state of readiness for death whenever lol. kill me ples

When the two of 'em combine like PREPARE FOR DA TROUBLE and mAKE IT THE DOUBLE,, nice nice. lagi best (Y)

hahahahaha truuuuuu

how am i both the Whiney Bitch™ and the psychologist at the same time lol

LOLLL this isn't a sad meme i just thought it was so cute huehuehue

ya this one's sad coz it's Tru

this one's just coz i was a victim of extreme visual trauma and i felt that i shouldn't suffer alone so yep. hope y'all enjoy it xo

Can i get an exchange or a refund pls. on /my life/

lol sameee.

and, last but not least,

How dare u.

Saturday, 1 April 2017

✧ prettyyyy~~ ✧

I cannot......,,..believe........ .  . ., only took a grand total of

12 dollars and 65 CENTZZZ,

, for me to transform my ugly ass, BASIC ass, boring grey slab of metallic hardware into a paradise for my pair of eyes.

When will I stop being a slut for pastel, paddlepop watercolour aesthetics tbh (answer: Never)

I'm pretty sure that the keyboard skin alone would cost you ten bucks MINIMUM at most of those Toy Outpost/general box rental stores. And those are just for Macbooks! How you gonna find one for an obscure Asus laptop, huh? H0W???¿¿

How'd I even manage to use it in its hideous ass original state for months on end tbh...Looking like some straight up ENGINEER shit.

ya das my foot...stfu ok i was filming it with one hand and holding the laptop screen in the other 

No shade to engineers tho lol y'all have some supremely mathematical and technical minds that are on some !next-level! brilliance. The good lord knows that my E8-for-'O'-Level-maths-scoring ass would never be able to BEGIN fathoming the kind of jargon and technological marvels y'all live and breathe every day. Plus I fucked a couple of engineers in my time, from tertiary level students to working professionals in the industry so yeah :) Pretty good, pretty good.......hAHAH

Keyboard cover available here. Soooo many designs, including gradients OH, MY~! Simply DELIGHTFUL lol
Laptop sticker available here.

It appears that my particular pastel watercolour design is tragically out of condolences xoxo

But there's still a bunch of other gorgeoussss sticker designs so yeah. Knock yourself out!

Life's too short to not be fuckin FANCY, ja feel?? ;) xoxo muahh luhh yaaaaa <3